Sep 2008

This is nothing new to us. Jorge & I often wake up with the same song in our head... usually with the exact same Tango song we heard the night before at the milonga. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise that upon posting the last post on selfishness, I received an email from Jorge with his very own (well-written) post on the same topic.

Here it is:

Growing tired of the selfish-fad?

I know I am.

I also know it's fashionable to be selfish, but let's face it – it's not a functional form of behavior to hold on to, given what we say we wish to experience. In order to have any positive, collective influence on humanity we must allow ourselves to let go of selfishness.

My lovely wife and I are participating in the Toronto International Film Festival for the first time this year. Yesterday was our first screening. We chose to go see "Waltz with Bashir"; a wonderful auto-biographical film about the effects of war on people and the complex process one goes through in the aftermath. You can read more about the film here: http://waltzwithbashir.com/. We suggest you see it if you can.

After the movie the director (Ari Folman) was there in person and we, the audience, were given a remarkable opportunity to ask him questions. The first hands rise and are given the chance to ask thoughtful, responsible questions. Instead, we get people asking trivial questions about missing scenes, random numbers and colours (numbers that were irrelevant, as the director pointed out), blah blah blah, "Next please." It wasn't enough that the questions were irrelevant, there also had to be dull and inane introductions by the questioners. "I'm such a fan of yours, I love you, my name is Bob Loblaw, and I have a wife named Mrs. Bob Loblaw and kids and pets and a car and a house (made of ticky-tacky) and I saw some trailers and I'm so excited and did I mention I love you?" My God. Shut up, nobody cares! Ask your damn question and let's move on. Maybe someone here isn't caught up in their own little bubble. It wasn't all bad; some people were thoughtful.

The questions were one thing and then this: the moment they announced there was time for one more question, people started getting up and leaving while the director was waiting for the final question. It's difficult to imagine people demonstrating this kind of disrespect, but I suppose we carry out the unimaginable every day, just like the movie depicted brilliantly. Here's a newsflash: we do the unimaginable because we are selfish and think we are the most important thing the planet has to offer. We don't listen, so we end up not hearing. We don't look, so we end up not seeing. All this because we are so damn caught up in our own egos. Human beings - sleep walking. Time to wake up!

I suppose I should have asked my own questions (although I didn't muster enough courage to stand up and project my quiet voice over the hundreds of heads). It was amusing witnessing how the director's exhaustive responses to the audience demonstrated his intelligence as he tackled the selfishness of our society.

In the end I felt inspired and moved by the fact that someone chose to go through such difficult memories and share it with the world. It must have taken tremendous courage to do so and my hat goes off to the director. Bravo.

Jorge & I are getting seriously annoyed with the selfishness that exists around us. It only further contributes to our not-so-healthy mantra "We hate people." We do you know. We hate people. Surprisingly, whenever we say this to people, the most often heard reply is, "Me too!"

Now that we have to take public transportation to get to work, we are confronted with people's "me-ness" every day. For example: We were at the subway station waiting in line to catch the bus. A long line was developing as the bus failed to arrive for almost half an hour (the bus usually comes every 10 minutes or less). You know where this is going right? There were two LONG lines - one for the front door and one for the back door - and a couple of start-your-own-lines-so-you-can-get-on-before-all-the-people-who-were-ahead-of-you. Why do people think their time is more important than everybody else's?! These little sneaky jerks do this as if they aren't aware they are doing it. Which is why we firmly believe in calling people on it. So when the bus arrived we made sure we said, "There are two lines. Pick one!" Often times, this is enough to make the greedy jerks back off.

Is this so difficult to do?

We also hear "me-ness" all the time. Generally, from the all-important "business man" who loves the sound of his own voice. In fact, he loves it so much that he makes sure EVERYONE around him can hear it too. That is the point where we grab the bit of skin at your throat and sing, "Me me me meeeeee..." :o)

K knows she talks a lot. She is intensely aware of it and it is one of the reasons she also speaks quickly. In order to avoid monopolizing someone's time, she speeds up her talking (not that this really changes the facts of the situation... :o). However, she also enjoys listening and has a pretty great memory for things her friends tell her. On the other hand, Jorge appears to be mute and people can easily take advantage of that fact and talk his ear off. Well, he does enjoy conversation, but it might not be with you. People erroneously think he has nothing to say. The truth is, Jorge is a good compass for "me-ness" and for finding those who are comfortable with Who They Are. People who suffer from "me-ness" and who are uncomfortable with themselves will never be interested in striking up a meaningful conversation with him.

We suppose in many ways the existence of this blog along with our Tango blog is also at the essence of "me-ness". Listen to what WE have to say and what WE are up to :o) In all honesty, we simply want to share our experience with our close friends and family... everyone else can choose to enjoy what we have to say or move on their way.